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Swipe My Longform SEO Pitch

Posted on Aug 31, 2017 by in agency, Blog | 0 comments


Go ahead and swipe my longform SEO pitch to get you more clients. We were able to rank locally and really damn well. This was able to close a five figure contract. I’m testing this, right now, so we’ll see how shortening it can work. We were taking this longform seo copywriting pitch and sending them in emails. So far, ain’t nobody got time for that and only people who desperately want SEO work done end up buying. IT filters out everyone else except the 3% of people who actually want SEO done. Anyway, feel free to use, adjust, etc etc.

Swipe My Longform SEO Pitch

Your business isn’t even ranking for anything on Google. Don’t Kid yourself.

I bet your customers only find you when they type in your name in google — so if they don’t know your name they will never see you — and you take pride for that.
Thats not ranking. Thats just a freebie.
Thats like saying that having a birth certificate makes you certified.
Your website’s conversion rate isn’t worth discussing either… because you’re not even tracking.
But I know its much less than 1%.
But still.
It doesn’t mean anything if it has no traffic… yet I bet getting 1 or 2 sales a month is good enough…
Because lets face it, you’re taking the shortcut by paying for ads.
You’re earning several thousand per customer… (and whats a drop in the bucket spending $500 in ads to get it)
Yet, like renting a house — once you stop paying for ads, you stop getting results…. You get kicked out!
Your counterparts (in other locations) are hiring folks like me to eliminate their entire ad budget.
And, to get a x5 to x10 return on investment that builds on itself every month!
You already know how.
SEO — by an agency that ranks for 100s of keywords within the first few months.
That way, the results build on each other every month.
The foundations stack and build and build.
That isn’t rent. Thats a MORTGAGE.
And, when you stop paying your mortgage…. well…. now you have equity.
And think about this:
You own equity.
Can you SEE the money FLYING out the WINDOW by not investing in proper SEO optimization?
To be relevant where people need you the most?
Of course you can.
Hi, I’m Jake Goss-Kuehn and I’m a results consultant for Web Strategy Viking
(google me, I’m not bluffing)
I corrupt businesses to my way of marketing — they get results.
My tendrils have influenced 12 businesses this year — all of ’em have at least 10 first page keywords
(Please call my bluff on this — if I can’t land 10 keywords for you in the first three months I’ll work for free until I do!)
Yeah, you’re thinking:
“Those sales calls I get all say 6 months for results, what the heck is this guy on”
…and I’ll let you in on a secret that apparently only I do…
My team and I do this by only working on one (yeah – just one) new client each month until it just takes off…
Maintaining and growing even still takes our clients to a point where they don’t need to worry about marketing.
They worry about closing the new business inquiries that come in… because now they can simply get higher paying clients and turn away folks who take up too much time.
What services can myself and my team offer that others don’t?
1) Me and my team work extremely fast AND are certified (check our portfolio).
2) I have a great development and strategy sense for business growth (I successfully launched two kickstarters and LLCs this month — thanks to my team of course ūüėČ )
3) Our entire team are American and native English speakers. This means I, personally, can ensure
the best communications regards to your project and no confusing freelancers…. sorry Punjabi Pete, no dice.
4) Oh yeah, we also do web design for you and do the copywriting all in house… because, lets face it… American talent is x10 more effective… and managing 10 Punjabi Petes all suck. (sorry, not sorry)
We aim to make this a 5x-10x ROI for your small business, and folks like our month-by-month retainer too… THIS MEANS NO UNREADABLE AND SHIT CONTRACTS. Leave at will.
Besides my generous and highly recommended guarantees that allow us the creative freedom to simply conquer the search engines… I invite you to chat with me when you have branding and marketing questions.
Because, we got the answers.
These are the COLD HARD FACTS that WILL improve your ROI:
– You will get the same results, as the 12 other local business owners and reach 100s of keywords for your small business … month-by-month on your OWN websitebbb
– But, in the first month; You’ll get the traffic of a 10+ key worded website funneling 100% of your keywords BEFORE we even work on your website
This means that while you get other company’s typical 6 month results… (you know, 10 keywords)
But you also get OUR style of SEO done for you too… which will stack on much much more.
(and convert and prequalify your leads to make your sales life easier)
On top of that…
– You will benefit from our proprietary software to let us email your customers non intrusive emails to build reviews and loyalty…. hey 15 reviews every month, thats not too bad to wake up to.
– Your business design will (finally) be mobile search optimized¬†and (actually) Google, Yahoo, Bing optimized…¬†
“But I’m pretty sure it is”… I hear you say…
1 in 100 times unless you had a certified SEO on it… which you don’t.. which is why we’re talking.
Don’t forget how everyone has smart phones too!
– One out of every three people use their phone to google you, whenever they neeeeeeeeeebed help…
They aren’t spending more than a few minutes googling for their solution…
So they’re not opening up their yellowpages… unless they’re old folks – which you’re not reaching with younger people like me EVER.
We confidently estimate our pricing to be around a 10x ROI monthly quote based on the competition and needs of each client.
This is based on an estimate of average Lifetime Customer Value of $5,000. If you’re making less than $1,000 per customer for their entire reltationship with you, stop reading this message. I will not help you.
(well, if you’ve been around for a while, I can do 5x ROI, but thats a whole ‘nother conversation)
Getting 5 new loyal customers a month will PAY $$$ the services for the rest of the year. Don’t make me do the math.
I guess I’ll do the math.
Lets imagine that your website is bringing in like 100 people each month, and maybe 1 out of 100 people end up calling you b/c they need help.
So you close the sale, and they’ll usually come back and purchase again… they’re worth $5,000 in revenue to you.
I know you’re not getting this… and that settling for these results is SAD, SAD, SAD.
Which, is perfect for you because so many of your competitors are OK with it, too!
Lets crunch some numbers.
If the website itself takes in 100 in traffic times the 1% chance times the value of $5,000…
It will bring in $5,000 in business.
Great. But your website has much less than 100 in traffic.
We will GROW by at least 100 in traffic, hand over fist, every month… so expect it to hit 1,000 in traffic by not long.
And your business SHOULD be at 5%… especially if everyone is throwing themselves at you for help…
Yeah, other industries are making 30k to 50k per sale (b2b contracts), but the math theory still holds for the “average customer” that you will get.
After your site goes through us, the value of 1000 in traffic at 5% at a $5,000 product brings in…
Drumroll please!
$250,000…in revenue.
This is standard. You know this is normal results.
This is why you’re getting 100 SEO calls too every month… from robots, usually.
(I don’t know why they do that, the conversion rate on robot calls are less than .0001% — thats not marketing)
This is why we can guarantee at least a 5x ROI and make it a 10x ROI (because we care) for you to be eventually be sending us checks of $25,000 each month to keep growing your profit center nest egg.
We’ll take your numbers and quote what is much more fair for the first month
Its usually $2,000 to $5,000 to do SEO and to get 10 keywords and to build towards the results your nest egg is starving for.
We stick with a 5x to 10x ROI… aka a budget of $5,000 will help us achieve $50,000 in revenue for you MUCH MUCH MUCH faster
Your site also will be migrated to a x8 faster host (us) ¬†–for free– and your website can be worked on, being rewritten from scratch to look super A-E-S-T-E-H-T-I-C and pleasing to use.
All of this with my pen writing the copy for your site too (don’t worry, we can done it down).
You’re struggling to have your website make a SINGLE sale a month…
And remember our secret?
We only close ONE new customer per month… (my new clients get more attention than my girlfriend)
And, I realized I haven’t yet brought in a new client for this month.
Yeah, I get so into marketing … that I forget to close my own sales for my own web agency…
So it goes.
I’d like to give you a 100% FREE strategy session (a 1000$ offer!) ¬†where I do a current marketing audit of your site distilled brievely over a short 15 minute call.
It’s a FREEBIE. A gimmie.
And I tell you exactly what your local competitors are doing, too!
No obligation, and if you want to use the data and strategy I’ve laid out, you can do it yourself or hire another freelancer or that Punjabi Pete on Upwork that keeps undercutting me…
To get in contact with me, you must must must do the following.
1) reply with¬†the website you want me to look at… &
2) a phone number that I can reach you at &
3) on the internet, open up the link:
for you to reserve your strategy session at that link (cos the session is high level)
You have gone too far if¬†you’re sending back me a check already for $5,000. I first need to figure out if I can actually help you! — thanks though.
I will start researching and deciding if we’re a good fit to work with each other… and while I can record the audit into a video (like what I’ve done on Youtube for 20 businesses), this is a higher level chat.
So bring a paper and pen as I walk you through it and tell you exactly what you can do in your own to solve the problems I will see.
I’d probably¬†comment on how your copy could be improved, but again, that’s¬†a conversation for later.
Jake Goss-Kuehn
lead results consultant
PS: I’ll share with you all of my clients in our call. But, I don’t pimp out my clients work, because its theirs to own. But, I will still show you in private or over the phone — just not over this email.
PPS. I prefer FIXED cost projects as it helps me deliver the final project without any overages in either budget. It also helps to establish that I will do X for Y in Z amount of time. Plus our accountants will like to know what to prepare for each month.
PPPS. I also went out and got some Chicken Tandoori and Naan as I was writing this, so while I’m a huge fan of Indian culture … I have this misplaced feeling against overseas freelancers since they dominate the market on their costs but under deliver¬†with usually inflating costs of business (I’ve lost a few thousand over the year on freelancers, which is why our team and I do everything in house)

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